Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Could I ever do anything right?

Ahhhh, where to start? So many thoughts rushing thru my head right now. As I sit here in Starbucks drinking a green tea frapuccino trying to get my thoughts lined up. It is so frustrating to see and feel that anything I do in regards to my responsibilities as a family man, I do wrong. In rehabilitation I do everything right and I put all my effort in doing it right and successfully. What I'm I missing when doing regular life things? I know that is not emotional. What could it be that I'm missing? I have a supportive and loving wife. I have a great support network. But it seems that I keep making the same mistakes that end up in things being messed up. Could it be attention issues? I don't know.
The path to recover from a brain injury is tough. To many things to figure out. To many things that will never be the same. Plus, I know I will never be the same.
Yes, I'm having a sad moment. Not depressed. Just sad. I understand that everybody gets sad and everybody have issues. But it seems that what I used to do naturally I now have to put extra effort to accomplish it. Could it be the impulsivity? I don't know. As I keep messing things up, it takes a toll on my family life. Even though I have an angel as a wife, yes, Roxana is an angel, and I know she tries her hardest to understand sometimes I know she gets frustrated and upset. It's hard for her to see that I'm a changed man after the injury. I do recognize is as hard for her as it is for me, and at times it might be even harder for her.
I just received a very supportive email from a very good friend as I was writing this. That email filled me with joy as it brought a smile to my face. Thank you Mercy.
I understand the emotional stages of healing. This might be part of them.
Please if anybody has any words of advice on how to cope with this, it will be greatly appreciated. Please send the to I will post them here. Thank you all for listening. Big hugs to all.

1 comment: