Monday, January 10, 2011

TBI Support Network: Advice and Encouragement at the Right Time

***This blog is part of
Hello friends. I hope everybody is doing fine. Motivation and initiative have been an issue for me in the past several months. It is because of this why you see my blog posts not as often as I used to. It is something I'm working on. Sometimes I ask myself: where did I go? At times I feel as if I have to get to know me as if I have just met me. One thing I notice about Traumatic Brain Injuries is that it never stops to bring a new surprise. As much as I try to avoid doing things as the old me, there is always that desire of trying. I do get to try but in the process I see that I either have to modify the way of doing it or simply just can't do it and have to accept the limitations.
So, we got that TBI brings unexpected things with it. Many of the surprises are not easy to accept emotionally. If you are new to this injury expect for it to be a rollercoaster. The hardest thing about all this is coping with it. So, how do we cope? Please know that I am a work in progress and I am relatively new to this life. Back to coping. It is my personal experience that one will cope as good as the Support Network is. Yes, I think that external elements are what makes coping less hard.
Take me for example. I was a confident, motivated, energetic, analytical, among many other characteristics (some good, some bad, lol). After the injury all those were affected if not completely gone. During the initial stages of the injuries my insights were unclear as well as my views on things or events. There was anger, frustration, sadness, etc. Obviously, I was unable to cope without help. The support network is the element that make this possible. It is because of my wife that I was able to cope and move forward past obstacles. Her encouragement, understanding and level of love and caring made this possible. She would help me comprehend events, causes and effects. She would talk to me about ways to cope but never did it for me. She guided me but I was the one that had to put forth effort to move forward. To a certain extent is like she was my cheerleader on the sideline.
I undertand that not everybody suffering from this injury has a spouse or a partner. Your support can come from a friend, family, or even a provider.
As I express before I have been dealing with some issues that come from the mourning process of not been able to continue doing what I love doing, which is Soldiering. I am facing the end of my military career and that brings many emotions. I'm coping with it as best as I can. Thankfully I have Roxana and very special friends. Among my friends I have to highlight Tracy. Tracy and I met online and met in person only once. He is the person that wrote the meditation article on He is a person that is always there and always has a word of encouragment and wisdom. Just tonight I received and email from him.
Tracy ( wrote on his message:
"My beloved friend, do not see your transition as failure. In fact it's an opportunity to move into something 'Greater'. You have been molded to be who you are because greatness lies in your inherent nature. More importantly, GOD is calling you to be the voice of TBI's. What's about to happen to you this year will astound you."
"Because of you, you have impacted more lives than you could possibly imagine.  You are still serving your country, but in a larger role."
"You have impacted me in ways,which you have no idea. You are such an instrument of magnificence and honor to the world."
"See this as new opportunity to become more of who you are. Greatness is your core Nature. And more importantly, love every part of your exquisite self. Even the parts that you seemingly don't like…also the parts when you don't feel like talking, depress, hopeless, and despair…or challenges with your beloved brain. When you can acknowledge these feelings, it starts the healing process to a New Awakening. It is perfectly fine. Because when you can appreciate every emotion and feeling, you're on the road to recovery my beloved friend."
I am blessed by having such a great friend just a phone call away. As I said before, the people in your support network can be anybody. The only two things they need to have to help is caring and compassion. As Tracy said, whenever you are not feeling well, reach out to others. It is alright to talk and more. Behind the wall we see as obstacle today lies a long road. The goal is to move forward leaving the obstacle behind.
***This blog is part of
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  1. Thanks Victor, You and your friend have given me some idea for the Newsletter. I too have not been very motavated for some time now and I don't like it. I don't think it has ever lasted so long before. Maybe it is the weather.
    Sounds like a good excuse. Sounds like you had a very good holiday season. I did too. but now it is time to get back to work, right? love you guys, Lee

  2. What beautiful words from Tracy...and true too.

    Yes, we all do have to find support where we can. I, personally, do not have any immediate support in person in my life. The online community has been wonderful for me in this way!